If it Would Please the Court
“The prosecution would like to enter exhibit A” she said holding up the photograph. She asked the man whether or not he was the man in the picture.
“I am dumb with desire,” he muttered to himself.
“What?” asked the prosecutor.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“I am done your honor” said the prosecution.
The judge looked up from his cell phone and declared “The court finds the defense guilty of the crime of throwing up deuces in a photograph. He will be sentenced to no fewer than 36 years of a shitty minimum wage job that’s way below his undergraduate degree and disappointing romantic interests.”
“I was rather hoping I could lead a fulfilling life, though.” said the defendant looking up.
“Well you should have thought about that before performing that indecent gesture young man.” And with the smack of the gavel and the ding of a text message later the defendant was gently led out of the courtroom into the world and left alone.
